just give me the peeps and no one gets hurt

There were kids screaming with regularity. There was so much excitement that some of the participants peed in their pants. The goodies were laid out in seductive waves, and some were elbowed in the rush to get at them. There was jostling, bumping, glares and stares, poking, even a stabbing. There was yelling, “Please, get under control!” But no one listened. It was just too much. It was too overwhelming for some who had to be assisted. Not a child’s birthday party, this was the Albuquerque Cactus and Succulent Show and Sale.

In this crowded room, people rushed at the doors the moment they opened at 10:00, fighting to get to the sales tables. Who would have guessed that there would be such fervor? I arrived a half hour late, and was told by Will that “all the good stuff is gone.” Still, I clawed my way in, among the hoards, the air in the room heavy with excited human exhaust, one woman breathing heavily into my face, a stench of smoker’s rotting teeth as she whispered seductively, “I have a Big Jim at home.” I tried not to cringe and attempted my escape amid the sea of burping, farting, sweating, fermenting human bodies. I leaned over a table of thorns to catch a view of a label. I was suddenly bumped from behind, and I had the sensation of falling face first into a bed of needles. Fortunately I was able to catch myself, and even better, the person who bumped me left no bodily gasses behind to enjoy. I looked around. Everyone had that manic overwhelmed “kid-with-too-much-candy” look on their faces. I knew that it wouldn’t be over until someone was crying. The lighting was terrible, but I managed to get a photo of a cute Dorstenia.

I fought my way to an empty spot where a man yelled in my ear, “Honey, there’s more back here!” waving to his wife behind me and pointing to another room. I dutifully followed him and found some very choice Aloe reitzii (supposedly hardy to 10 degrees which would make it possible to winter in Albuquerque against a warm wall). Five dollars for an eight inch pot. A steal. When another man yelled, “THESE ARE NOT FOR SALE. YOU MUST LEAVE.”

So I left. I think I need to gorge on some Peeps now.