Time to say goodbye. Sigh.

The relationship was madness, and finally I had to admit it. I had to put an end to the madness. Sure there were the incredible highs, but there were also the terrible lows. The thrill of the chase had me, and I committed, pleading, swearing that it would work, not admitting to the knowing that I knew it couldn’t last. When reality hit, it left me in a dark depression. But then we would have a good time. Such a beautiful early summer, and such excitement we had, leading to a glorious season of summer. But then we hit a tortured low. This cycle, again and again. Each time I believed it would get better. It works for other people, right? We promised we would work harder. Things would work out for such a wonderful thing, right? Wrong. So this weekend, I had to bring it to an end. It tears out my heart to destroy what was built.

“I’m sorry,” I said, “but this has got to end.”
“Why?”
“This isn’t working. You know it isn’t. You are miserable. I am miserable.”
“Is it me?”
“It’s my fault for bringing you into it.”
“I’ll work harder.”
“Aren’t you working hard enough?”
“It isn’t good enough for you is it?”
“It isn’t when we are both so miserable.”
“But we’ve had such good times. Last summer was incredible.”
“And we’ve had such terrible times.”
“Yeah, this last winter nearly killed me.”
“I know, and I can’t take it.”
“You could work harder.”
“But it still wouldn’t work. You’d end up a pale semblance of yourself, and even that might kill you.”
“But ending this will kill me.”
“I’m sorry,” I said.

And so I started. I started cutting out the things that we built together.

“You’re hurting me!”
“I know. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”
“So this is it, then?”
“It’s too late to turn back. I’m sorry.”
“But you can stop.”
“But that would just prolong the agony.”
“You’re probably right. You heartless beast.”
“I’m sorry. But I do want to thank you for our time together.”
“Goodbye, Asshole.”

So ends the time of Cistus in my garden.
In memorium: Cistus x aguilarii. Cistus x hybridus, Cistus x dansereaui ‘Decumbens’, Cistus ladanifer var. petiolatus ‘Bennett’s White’.